Web of Spider-Man 1-3, April-June 1985

by Louise Simonson and Greg LaRocque

okay, ahem...these were bad. But they were really good at it. what i mean is that they were all the things that make super-heros ridiculous, and now, twenty years later, it's funny.

We have a little arc in which four clowns have gotten out of prison, where they learned design secrets from the Vulture. They have built themselves winged suits and call themselves the Vulturions! They are pissed at Pete for putting them in prison and want revenge, of course. ooohh and they have poison darts!

This is happening while Peter and MJ are broken up and He and Aunt May aren't speaking. So he's all fucked up and whiny.

So fucked up in fact, that he can't seem to notice that there are three girls living in his building that are constantly sunbathing on the roof! There names are, and i'm not making this up, Bambi, Randi, and Candi! (Oh Louise, what ARE you dreaming about?) They are nothing to Peter but a distraction. All he wants them to do is get off of the roof so that he can sneak in and out as spider-man. Dude! WTF! Did I miss the issue were we learn that Pete is gay? Are you seriously telling me that Peter would rather swing around the city with four tools in vulture costumes than play "who wants more webbing" with girls gone wild? Wa-huh?

And just a little more interesting than that, May is shacked up with some guy in a wheelchair. And it ain't Charles Xavier. (which would be awesome!) May Parker, you little minx.

So blah blah blah. There's terrible dialogue and vanilla art. And a total disregard for the laws of physics.

Oh and May's new handicapped fuck-stick, calls Pete a "rapscallion". Nice.